Man holds walking event in Nagoya to ‘love life’ after accepting dad’s suicide

NAGOYA — A young man, together with his friends, has been holding a monthly night walk event here for participants to love life through casual conversations after he accepted his father’s suicide.

“Yorusanpo” (lit. night walk) in central Nagoya has become an opportunity for those who wish to share moments when talking can lighten their hearts. The event was started by a man whose father had taken his own life. The movement has attracted sympathy and is spreading to other areas. This reporter joined the walk in a park to learn what the organizer meant by such efforts.

The meet-up was at Hisaya-odori Park in the Sakae district of central Nagoya just before 6 p.m. on Sept. 16. Since it was the last day of a three-day weekend, the park was bustling with families and others. It was an “extremely hot day,” with a high temperature of at least 35 degrees Celsius. While the sweltering heat continued, the sky was already darkish, showing signs of autumn. Eighteen people in their 20s to 70s gathered near the illuminated Mirai Tower, formerly known as the Nagoya TV Tower. Their faces were cheerful as they exchanged words with each other such as, “Good evening,” and, “It’s still hot, isn’t it?”

A 33-year-old co-leader of the organizing group “Love Life Project” who goes by the pseudonym Koki Kakuha took a microphone and said, “Welcome to Yorusanpo.” He went on to explain the rules of listening to what other participants say, such as “Don’t tell anyone else what you have heard,” “Don’t give opinions or advice unless you’re asked,” “Listen until the end of what others say without interrupting,” and, “Nod to others’ stories.”

Participants do not have to give their real names but call each other by their nicknames. Kakuha explained, “It is not an event to solve problems or find the right answers. It’s important to talk about your thoughts and to feel warmth by listening to others.”

Kakuha lost his father six years ago. He was working for a company and still in his mid-60s. Kakuha later learned that his father had told the family before his death that his work was not going well as he had hoped, perhaps due to his declining physical strength.

“He was prone to depression,” Kakuha recalled of his father. Every time he visited home, Kakuha felt as if his father was shrinking, but as he had not been able to notice his father’s issues, he later felt remorse.

Wanting to support his remaining mother, Kakuha attended a seminar on supporting those who had lost family members to suicide. However, as the lecture started, tears began to stream down his face, and he could no longer read the handouts because they were smeared with tears. He realized that he had not been able to face up to his father’s passing.

After a while, the deep darkness suddenly cleared. Kakuha met many people in similar situations at a gathering of those who lost family members to suicide, which he had learned about through participation in the seminar. The mere act of telling his own story and listening to other members warmed his heart.

Finally, he became able to accept the fact that his father had taken his own life, thinking, “I want to live my life affirming that my father lived, rather than grieving. My father’s death is part of who I am.”

After that, Kakuha participated in a community development project sponsored by the Nagoya Municipal Government, whose name translates to “30 people who connect Nagoya,” and in March 2021, he began activities with two people he had met in the project.

“Yorusanpo” marked the 38th edition of the event in September. A total of more than 600 people have participated. The 18 participants that day included some first-timers and some repeaters who had not joined for two and a half years. They were divided into groups of three each and walked around in a circle in the park, which stretches about 1 kilometer from north to south, for about one and a half hours while talking in accordance with the themes prepared in advance.

There were five to six themes, starting with “What was for lunch today?” The final topic was “What is life for me?” and the conversation went deep into one’s own inner world. If one does not want to talk, they can pass. Everything is left up to the participant’s own decision.

After walking together for about an hour, a man in his 20s sat down on a bench, saying, “Let’s take a little break.” The theme of the conversation was, “Who would you like to say ‘thank you’ to?'”

To that question, the man replied, “I guess it would be to my family. I haven’t been able to find a job, and I’ve been thinking, ‘I’m causing trouble,’ but my family watches over me without saying anything (bad). Normally I wouldn’t be able to talk about this kind of thing with anyone, though.” With a shy smile on his face, he continued, “I can talk about myself here with peace of mind. I don’t have to be concerned about the other participants because they feel the same way, so I feel at ease. They are not related to me, but they are not strangers.”

Shortly after 7:30 p.m., the participants returned to the meeting place. Although they had not known each other before the walk, in just one and a half hours the tension dissipated and a peaceful time passed. Each participant shared their feelings in the end, and the event finished. Words in a cheerful tone, such as “See you again,” echoed in the night sky.

In this day and age of social media, where people can easily communicate and talk to each other in short sentences, it may be going against the times, but the participants were able to communicate with each other in the limited time they had together.

Kakuha commented, “Unlike X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram, this is a place to talk in real life.” The activity has spread to students at Nagoya University and in the prefectural city of Kariya.

As he saw the participants off on their way home, Kakuha concluded with a smile, “They don’t have to participate every time. We want to continue to be here in the Sakae district when something happens or when we are needed.”

The next night walk will begin at 6 p.m. on Oct. 19. The participation fee is 300 yen (about $2). More information is on the Love Life Project’s website at https://love-life-project.qloba.com (in Japanese).

(Japanese original by Kohei Shinkai, Nagoya News Department)